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In a first-person essay published by Being Patient on Oct. 7, 2026, artist and retired professor Robert G. Fishman describes how making paintings about memory loss helped him change how he relates to his mother, who has dementia. He says he now tries to enter her world rather than correct her, while noting that her fading memories have not erased their relationship.
Artist and retired professor Robert G. Fishman says a series of paintings about fading landscapes helped him understand his mother’s dementia and shift from correcting her to meeting her where she is. His first-person essay, published by Being Patient on Oct. 7, 2026, describes a family’s experience with dementia and the role art played in processing grief, frustration and change.
Fishman writes that he spoke with his mother daily after she was widowed in 1999. She moved to an independent living facility in her early 90s, and he initially took changes in her behavior for ordinary aging. By age 94, she was struggling to use her phones. During a visit in late 2023, he found her apartment in serious disrepair, with an empty refrigerator and a strong odor from her cat’s urine. His mother insisted everything was fine and did not appear to notice the smell.
A neurologist diagnosed early-stage dementia, according to Fishman, but his mother declined further testing and rejected the diagnosis. He says daily phone calls had made it difficult for him to see how much her circumstances had changed. After she refused local assisted living, the family persuaded her to move closer to them in Maryland. She eventually moved into a memory care unit about 10 minutes from their home.
In his studio, Fishman began painting landscapes repeatedly, removing details from each version until recognizable forms became simpler. He called the works “Deconstructed Landscapes” and later understood them as a way of representing his mother’s changing memory. He says four paintings became a separate series, “The Art of Forgetting.” The essay identifies Fishman as a visual artist, author, retired college professor and nonprofit executive; his experience also inspired the children’s book “Bubby’s Still Here.”
Changing How Family Care Looks
Fishman’s account describes a difficult shift for relatives: accepting that a person’s memory and abilities may change while continuing to recognize the person beyond those changes. He writes that he once corrected his mother and became angry when she could not do things she had done throughout her life. He says he later stopped trying to make her remember and began paying attention to what remained between them.
The essay presents painting as Fishman’s personal way of coping, not as a clinical treatment or evidence that art changes dementia. Its value for readers is in the specific account of how one family member confronted denial, frustration and grief while adapting to a parent’s changing needs. Fishman’s experience also illustrates that practical steps, such as moving a parent closer or arranging memory care, may not by themselves resolve the emotional strain for relatives.
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From Daily Calls to Memory Care
Fishman writes that his mother had feared developing Alzheimer’s because her own mother received that diagnosis at 73 and died seven years later. When his mother was still functioning well at 93, he believed she might have avoided the same fate. He says that expectation contributed to his failure to recognize earlier signs of change.
His account follows a personal timeline: the first visible concerns included difficulty using phones; the late-2023 visit made the extent of the situation harder to overlook; a neurologist then diagnosed early-stage dementia; and the family later arranged a move to Maryland and memory care. Fishman says he had to come to terms with the diagnosis emotionally as well as understand it intellectually.
Being Patient published the piece in its Voices section, presenting Fishman’s own recollection rather than an independent medical report. The article does not name the neurologist or provide medical records, and its details about diagnosis, family decisions and emotional response are based on Fishman’s account.
““Over my dead body.””
— Robert G. Fishman, recalling his mother’s refusal of local assisted living
Limits of the Personal Account
The essay does not specify the mother’s current age, the exact form or cause of her dementia, or what further testing she declined. Fishman reports that a neurologist diagnosed early-stage dementia, but the source does not include medical documentation or an independent account from the clinician or family.
It is also unclear how his mother’s condition has changed since the events described, or what she herself thinks about the paintings and her care. The article offers Fishman’s perspective and experience; it does not establish that the same creative process or approach will apply to other families.
Visits Continue in Memory Care
Fishman’s essay describes his current visits to his mother in the memory care unit near his home. He says he no longer focuses on correcting her or restoring earlier memories, instead attending to the relationship and responses he can still share with her. The source does not announce a new project, treatment plan or other upcoming milestone.
For now, the development is the publication of his account and its description of how his own approach changed. Any further updates about his mother’s health, care arrangements or the paintings would need to come from Fishman or his family.
Key Questions
What did Robert G. Fishman publish?
He wrote a first-person essay for Being Patient, published Oct. 7, 2026, about his mother’s dementia and how painting helped him process the experience.
What is “The Art of Forgetting”?
It is the name Fishman gives to a series of four paintings that grew out of his work removing details from landscape paintings. He says the images helped him understand his mother’s changing memory.
Who diagnosed Fishman’s mother with dementia?
Fishman says a neurologist diagnosed early-stage dementia. His account does not name the clinician or provide medical records.
Where does Fishman’s mother live now?
Fishman writes that she moved into a memory care unit about 10 minutes from his home in Maryland. The essay does not give further details about her current health or care plan.
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